We've lived in our small town for almost eleven years now.
That's crazy to me.
This summer we'll have been married for 12 years. And eleven of them have been here.
When we moved here it was going to be for two years tops ...just so I could finish school.
But here we are. Two college graduations later. Two kids later. Five homes later. 13 different jobs between the two of us. We're still here.
And I don't LOVE this town.
But I do LOVE the people in it. And that is why we've stayed. We got connected with a community of people and that has kept us here.
Matt graduates in May. Matt desires to get plugged into ministry and teaching full time. We are outgrowing our home. Eli is in school this year. I am praying diligently about the options of growing our family. We are coming up on the season where we had planned to put our house back on the market. And as I feel life changing. I start to wonder if this is where I want to stay planted for the long haul.
I dream of some place warmer. Some place with more to do. Some place that is greener than here (literally, greener). That has more indoor winter activities for kids. That has better and more affordable housing options. That has more opportunities for me to work part-time as a speech-language pathologist. That has a Target. And a real camera store. And a 24 hour gym. A town that has grandparents close by. And we can take our kids to see things without it being a weekend trip.
But on the other hand.
I can't imagine not being here.
Where I deeply know and love so many people. Where our very best friends are next door. And I can't go anywhere without seeing people we know.
We have so many friends here that have deep roots. And though seasons of life change and we may not see them all and share life on a daily basis with them. They are true friends. People we've known since we were all college kids, with no kids ourselves. People that we know their history and they know ours. People that are safe and faithful. That have seen the good and the bad and love us anyways. People who we would do anything for and know that they would be there in return for us should us or our kids need something. A people and a town that we have shared life with. Grown and changed with. A town and culture that is a part of us.
We are the locals in this very transient town. We love on the people as they come through with the university...but we are deeply rooted with the real town. The people that have built their lives here.
And that can't be rebuilt overnight. Or bought at Target.
And that is what is scary about the thought of moving. I don't want to flippantly give up the beautiful life we have here in hopes that the grass is greener on the other side ...because I realize all that would be lost. But I also don't want to hold on tight to my security here if God has something different in store for us.
We have no plans to move. But the thought seems to often be in the back of my mind. And its just as much of a scary nightmare as it is a dream.
For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. --Psalms 48:14